Exploring Connecting the Dots: Shadow Work

Photo Credit: Christian Holzing

Have you ever had some one walk out of your life with no warning?

Relationships with people are not easy, especially if one or more of the parties is not being honest about what their needs or boundaries are.

That is a sure way to doom any relationship.  It is again one of the reasons this work is so important.

The work I am referring to is shadow work that can touch the living core of our fears. These fears can be about our value (or lack of), what we deserve, our rights to boundaries, nurturing, respect, and more.  It can be about our own boundaries with others and how we communicate our emotions and our needs. Anger, grief, rage, fear, all of these can be expressed in ways that facilitate healing, or bring about further wounding.

I talk about this in my book Connecting the Dots: Ancient Wisdom, Modern Science, a lot, but in particular chapter 10, “Feelings”.

Whatever is inside of us, got there because we survived experiencing it.  It did not get there by itself, and it cannot harm us any further than we were harmed when we went through it the first time (even though it can feel like it can sometimes)
You got this.

Touching it is raw, but if we keep in mind that by sitting with it, quietly, we can move through the feelings and out the other side.  While you are in there, be creative about your thoughts.  Rub golden healing salve on raw wounds, hold the wounds, or yourself at whatever age you were when you were wounded. Like a baby, these things need our time and attention. We need our time and attention, no less than anyone else in our lives does…

Shadow work can also encompass traumas that we have stored in our bodies, ones that were so painful that we have chosen to lock them away inside us, and to look away.  We invest so much in not having to see them, but they still affect us, and how we behave towards others. The truth is, we will carry them in us, unless we work to divest ourselves of their influence by neutralizing their charge, to our graves, and perhaps beyond.

Touching the living core of anything can be “shocking”.  It is experienced intensely, even something pleasant at that level of intensity can be almost or downright painful.  Imagine then something unwanted experienced at that level. Not fun!  Yet…  This is the work we are meant to do. It is why the very planets in the heavens stop spinning and then reverse the direction of their spin ( this opposite spin, called “retrograde” pulls the feelings of these things we have not yet mastered out of us, and makes them manifest in our lives.)

It is why every thirty years each human goes through what is referred to as their “Saturn return”.  And for that entire year you will be hit again and again with issues that stem from these parts of ourselves that we relegate to the shadows.
Shadow work demands that we look at our pain and we determine what we have practiced that, at the very least, invited those energies into our space, or, they could be things we are directly causing.

I heard a great saying yesterday, what we are experiencing is a Birth Quake! What is yours on a Richter Scale of 1 – 10?

 It can be very helpful to get support for this work. I urge you to find others also seeking to heal and grow. Be kind to yourself in at least one small way a day. Tune into your body on a daily basis and ask it what it needs. Don’t be afraid of changing old patterns and doing something new. Be afraid of staying stuck in old ones, remember nothing new will come from old patterns. Become curious. Ask for help. Ask for support.

Copyright: Lia Russ 2022

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